Our Covenant of Healthy Relationships affirms our shared commitment to communicating and interacting with care and respect.
Click here to see our Covenant of Healthy Relationships.

Our Healthy Relationships Team

BUF’s Healthy Relationships Team is here to nurture healthy relationships within our community by:

Promoting our Covenant of Healthy Relationships
Providing education in relationship-building and communication skill
Facilitating difficult conversations
Responding to concerns about perceived bias or discrimination

Current team members are: Karen Nuckles-Flinn, Lin Skavdahl, and Rev. Paul Beckel.

Responding to Concerns:

We respond to concerns involving interpersonal conflict, bias, discrimination or harassment by:

Listening to you

When you have a concern–even if it isn’t a “conflict”–we’re happy to be a sounding board for you.


We’ll help you prepare for a potentially difficult conversation–or talk through the pros and cons of letting it go.

Facilitating conversations with relevant parties

Our role is to advocate for the relationship–and a healthy conversation–rather than for one party or another. For example:

      • If you’d like to speak directly with the person with whom you are in conflict, we would reach out to them to ensure they are willing to participate in the conversation. If requested, we’ll be there too.
      • If you are not willing to have a direct conversation with the other party, we may ask you for your permission to share your concern with the person involved, along with your name.
      • If you choose not to utilize this process, we will ask you to make peace with the matter in a manner consistent with our Covenant of Healthy Relationships. And we will continue to be available to you as needed.

Referral, as needed

      • to our Bias Response Team to address incidents that involve conduct that may reflect bias against members of our community based on their identity (e.g., sex, race, color, ethnicity, gender, gender identity/expression, age, ability, national origin, veteran status, religion). More info here.
      • or to other resources such as professional mediators, education/training, etc.

If you have a concern about threatening or criminal behavior,

please dial 911 to contact the police immediately.

After making a police report, please follow up by contacting Rev Paul Beckel.

Click here to share a concern with the Healthy Relationships Team

A member of the Team will call you to better understand the situation, and help you consider next steps.


Contact anyone on the team directly (click here to find us in the directory).
The information you share will be kept confidential.

For concerns involving BUF’s Minister or Staff:

Staff: Please contact his or her supervisor. If you aren’t sure who this is, contact Rev Paul Beckel.
Minister: Depending on the nature of the concern, the Healthy Relationships Team may assist directly or provide referral to an outside mediator.